Looking for Mr. Right

Dear Aunt Hill,

Why does every knight in shining armour turn out to be such an asshole?

- Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Here is a "Looking for Mr. Right" checklist:

1. Stop falling in love with love.

2. Know yourself.

3. Forget about stupid checklists.

Falling in love with love ultimately leads to jail time for stalking when it gets out of hand. Even to a much lesser degree, there is no need for it. You are not a little girl who dreams of kissing princes anymore. You are a grown-up adult who has necked with strangers in public washrooms, so get over any and all fantasies that include your impeccable character. How can you expect your partner to have any patience for your quirks if you can only envision that person within a very small doll house? Let love be what love will be. 

Knowing yourself means keeping stock of what’s going on in your life, analyzing the changes, integrating all factors, and finding ways to maintain your life experience on a path that is positive for you, your family, and your greater community. No amount of kale will cover up your secrets and sorrow. You must acknowledge it all and be honest; be neither too lenient nor too harsh. Try looking at you and your life as if you were watching from the ceiling because you’ll have to separate feelings from facts in order to be objective. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with feelings, but they are distinct from facts. When we are able to separate the two, negative feelings often morph into something more palatable: agency.

Lists are for shopping. Shopping for relationships is exceptionally shallow. Most heterosexual women would be very happy with a dependable man who makes them laugh. We would all be overjoyed with daily orgasmic sex, too (and the world would surely be a better place), but not many women strive for (or even expect) that, for some unfathomable reason. All the other details are irrelevant because looks, fame, and money are more easily lost than not. Perfect partners are never perfect, not even you.

 Grounded & Growing.  Sky Limit.  Standing Right.

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